7 Funny Stories That Will Make Your Moment
At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces,
“The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. If you think you qualify, raise your hand.”
Everyone raises their hands except a middle-aged man who seems to show little interest.
“Congratulations! You are the winner,” says the emcee to the man.
“Your prize is this $100 bill!” Still showing no emotion, the man replies,
“Would you mind coming over here and putting it in my pocket.
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbour’s daughter”.
Father: “Oh hoo, I wish you hadn’t said that.
I have to tell you something son, but you must
promise not to tell your mother.
Sandra is actually your sister.”
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Angela, the other neighbour’s daughter.”
Father: “Oh ho, I wish you hadn’t said that.
Angela is also your sister.”
This went on a couple of times and the son was so
he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: “Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with
six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
“My love, you can date whoever you want.
Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
Son Fainted… :p
One guy said to other your mom is sooooo hot, I love her
The other guy said, “Dad, you have had too many drinks. Let’s go home”
Mom Suspects Her Son Of Sleeping With His Roommate. What She Does Next Is Perfect.
A mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a roommate.
During his meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there’s more between him and his roommate.
Reading his mom’s thought, his son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates.”
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver plate. You don’t suppose your mother took it, do you?
He said, “Well I doubt it, but I’ll email her just to be sure! He sat down and wrote,
Dear mom, After you visit me, the silver plate has been missing. “I’m not saying that you did take the silver plate from my house, and I’m not saying that you don’t take it, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Your Son.”
Several days later, he received an email from his mother which read:
“Dear Son, I’m not saying that you do sleep with your roommate, and I’m not saying that you don’t sleep with her: but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow. Love, Mom”
He Asked His Wife To Bury Him With ALL His Money, So This Is What She Did
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money.
He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, ” Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. Because I want to take all my money to the afterlife.”
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all the money in the casket with him. Well, one day he died.
He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to their best friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said: “Wait A Minute!”
She had a shoebox with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away.
Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in there with that stingy old man.”
She said, ” Yes, I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”
“You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?”
“I sure did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.”
“SHE KEPT HIS WISH”
Man Gets Arrested For Creeping This Lady Out On A Bus. His Explanation Is Perfect.
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, ‘Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, ‘The Double Mint Twins are coming’ and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
‘Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling,’ and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
‘William’s Big Stick Did the Trick,’ and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
‘Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!’
… I just lost it.’
Rose: Can I get a picture of you?
Rose: for the school project
Jennie: what’s the subject
Rose: Biology, we talk about snakes
**** End Of Article****
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